Becoming a football commentator is really the easiest and at the same time the most beautiful job in the world. You have to fulfil a few important criteria, and then you’re ready to go. I’ll list them briefly here, not without expecting vehement objections and vetoes.
1) No idea about football
Seems to me to be almost the most important requirement.
2) As a reporter you are always right. When you’re wrong, you just confirm yourself.
3) Master of gloating, contempt and defeatism.
4) Career as a prophet
5) Since you are reporting on football, there is no requirement to create suspense.
